Routines.
We all have them. Going to the gym every lunchtime. Getting ready for the day in the exact same order, every day. Tucking the kids — or, in my case, my cat Finley — into bed with their favourite blanket and toys…yes, Finley has a favourite blanket and yes, I tuck him in with his favourite toys.
Routines help keep us grounded. They provide a sense of normality and familiarity in a world that so often moves at lightning speed, and feels like it’s constantly changing. They also give us a sense of security and reassurance. They might be things we do when we’re feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed; a ritual or habit to help us reset and refocus.
One of my most important routines is going to church on a Sunday: the Unitarian church in Scarborough.
Now, I know it can be quite unfashionable to talk about religion, faith and spirituality these days, especially in the context of our professional lives. But in reality, it’s impossible to separate our personally held political and/or religious views from who we are as people. How we respond to things, how we make decisions, and how we treat others are all shaped by our beliefs and values, whether they’re political, religious, both, or neither.
And the same is true of me. I’m a proud Unitarian, and have been blessed with the trust of my congregation to lead them in worship at our church once a month. As our services close every week, we recite the same words. The same five lines found in the back of a dusty old hymn book. And I carry those words with me long after the service has ended, into work at the start of every new week, and every day that follows.
God be in my head, And in my understanding.
God be in my eyes, And in my looking.
God be in my mouth, And in my speaking.
God be in my heart, And in my thinking.
God be at my end, And at my departing.
On the face of it, they’re pretty unremarkable. Five lines I’ve heard and said hundreds of times. Yet, they’re some of the most important words I carry into the week ahead.
There’s something uniquely Unitarian about the way these words manifest themselves in my life. For anyone who’s unfamiliar with what Unitarianism is, let me quickly explain.
Unitarianism is a liberal faith tradition that welcomes people from many religious and non-religious backgrounds. It doesn’t do dogma or creed. Instead, it’s a movement made up of people who you’d describe as progressive, free-thinking and who happen to share the same core values. Well that, and a penchant for tea and cake.
As Unitarians, it means that the word “God” isn’t a rigid definition. After all, if you asked ten Unitarians what they thought about God, you’d likely get 20 different answers. For me, though, the word “God” is a way of expressing values that matter to me: compassion, curiosity, kindness, and humanity.
And that’s important. Because although the words speak of “God”, they’re not really talking about it in the traditional “big man in the sky” sense. In fact, you could easily replace the word “God” for something else that feels more appropriate for your own beliefs and worldview, and those five lines would still mean the same thing.
Love be in my head…
Empathy be in my eyes…
Kindness be in my mouth…
Compassion be in my heart…
Humanity be at my end…
So, what do I take from these words?
These five lines inform how I act, behave, and conduct myself in every part of my life. At home with my wife. With friends. With strangers. And at work too.
“…in my understanding…”
This reminds me to always be curious, to try and see things from others’ perspectives, and not jump to conclusions. If there’s a decision or action I don’t agree with, I’m mindful to pause, and try to see it from someone else’s perspective.
“…in my looking…”
This reminds me to see people as people, not as resources to help me achieve things or obstacles that block progress. I’m mindful that every person I interact with is just like me: someone with a story, their own context, their own beliefs and values.
“…in my speaking…”
This reminds me to speak with kindness, honesty, and integrity. Words have power, and I’m mindful to always choose mine deliberately, and not let my emotions dictate how I interact with those around me.
“…in my thinking…”
This reminds me to act with empathy, self-awareness, and humility. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t always get things right. I’m mindful of seeing others as in the same boat as me, no matter what challenges I may be facing.
“…at my departing…”
This reminds me to be mindful of the impact I leave behind, after meetings and projects, but also in the longer-term. What will the lasting impression I leave on people be?
You see, these words aren’t really about God in the way many people might assume. At their heart, the words are about me. They’re about being mindful and deliberate in everything I do, say, and think. It’s about grounding myself at the start of every week, resetting, and choosing to approach the days ahead in a way that’s as kind and compassionate to others as I try to be to myself
They’re about how I choose to show up in the world.
You don’t need a church or to believe in God to be more mindful and aware. It just so happens that my weekly reset routine starts at 10.30 on a Sunday morning, and includes these words…and a slice of one of Sheila’s delicious homemade cakes.
But the more I’ve reflected and the more I say these words, the less I’ve come to see them as just a part of a comforting weekly routine. I see them as a challenge.
They’re easy to recite on a Sunday morning. They’re much harder to live by on a Tuesday afternoon when deadlines are tight, patience is wearing thin, and someone has just sent an email you really wish they hadn’t.
That’s the challenge I carry into work every Monday morning.
